Just four days until we close on the house. Just four days until we write a check for 24,000 dollars. Holy crap is that a lot of money. I feel so young but when I look at my hands, they are move crevassed than ever. I am not a girl, or an adolescent or a young lady any more. I cannot smirk about the fact that I support myself. I am no longer the youngest one at work. I am just a regular grown up now. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Enjoy my never flat belly and boobs that droop? Wonder if I'll ever look in the mirror again and think, "Not bad!" I see why men buy toupees and sports cars. It's fucking scary to know that you can't fall back on your cuteness anymore.
Now, I'll live in the burbs. I joked to Bill that we needed to leave the city and find a town where I'm still young and thin. Now I worry that I'm just the annoying woman making a scene in the corner and swearing that a man once told her she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and couldn't believe she was 35, flat out did not believe her! Please, God, don't make me that woman. Not at 28. Please wait a few decades if that is my ultimate fate. Also, no minivans.
